"The sea of photographers that you are referring to does exist… but I’m constantly realizing that plenty of them arent that good… just as plenty aren’t trying that hard. The ones that are good on the other hand only prove to inspire me and make me want to become a stronger photographer. I’m doing what I know how to do and keeping my focus on my work. I’ve never compromised my artistic vision, and opportunities keep unfolding. I’m not sure where else I could live where every resource and inspiration I could ask for is right there within reach. This city never ceases to amaze me in that regard and that makes all those other fears and competitive thoughts melt away."-A conversation with Amy Elkins, Conscientious.
So I've spent the whole day reading photo blogs and gradually feeling overwhelmed and somewhat inadequate. I realized though, as I have before that there is nothing I can "do", there is only going forward. It's hard keeping a focused perspective on your own motivations because how much of my confidence stems from external approval and how much is trust in my own vision? The more I read the less I know about this medium that I've intuitively used for years. So basically everything that can be considered my core is unraveling.
I am fascinated by Thomas Metzinger's notion that nobody ever had a self. What exist are conscious self-models that are invisible to us. The sense of self is but a process, the subjective experience of being someone but we understand it as being "us". I've only started reading Being No One: The Self-Model Theory of Subjectivity so I might be wrong. The understanding we feel we have over our "selfhood" is interesting.
Recently, I experienced a distinct disconnect between my body and me. This strangely uncomfortable sense of separation happened during a night of pain and unrest. I couldn't reconcile the fact that my body was a separate entity with motivations of its own and that I was a powerless spectator…
*As a side note, my first assignment as intern for Worcester Magazine made the cover!
I am fascinated by Thomas Metzinger's notion that nobody ever had a self. What exist are conscious self-models that are invisible to us. The sense of self is but a process, the subjective experience of being someone but we understand it as being "us". I've only started reading Being No One: The Self-Model Theory of Subjectivity so I might be wrong. The understanding we feel we have over our "selfhood" is interesting.
Recently, I experienced a distinct disconnect between my body and me. This strangely uncomfortable sense of separation happened during a night of pain and unrest. I couldn't reconcile the fact that my body was a separate entity with motivations of its own and that I was a powerless spectator…
*As a side note, my first assignment as intern for Worcester Magazine made the cover!
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