Hillary Clinton was 2.5 hours late...{jsl}

I met the friendliest secret service agent that day. I also met the most radical Hillary supporter who breathed down my neck and shouted into my ear lines such as: "You're beautiful, Hilary!" "Fuck Obama!" and "Down with the House of Bush!" etc. for three hours regardless of whether Hillary was in the building or not...


And... a Blooper!

Mr. Deval Patrick {jsl}

Deval Patrick's visit to Clark.

I aimed to be forward and ambitious when I emailed these photos to the major photo and news editors of the Boston Globe a few hours after the event... I have yet to hear back from them but I felt stronger despite the possibility of not be acknowledged. I only have two edited right now. Sorry! Tomorrow's my chance to photograph Hillary Clinton! I whole heartedly am looking forward to observing and interacting with the secret service...

My encounter with the secret service... {jsL}

Chelsea Clinton visits Clark

The most interesting was not her speech but: 1. My dual loyalties toward STIR and Worcester Magazine on this shoot. Certainly the level of freedom of expression and creativity was not the same. 2. My interactions with the secret service. I wonder how they assess risk because I was pulled aside and questioned (lightly)...

{I love noticing the different unconscious gazes and expressions in a photo}

Finally freeballin' {jsL}

Feeling just a bit burned out from my projects... SoOo, what is the best way to amend this situation?? A list of what I love!

travel channel, cadbury chocolate, warm apple cider, panda bears, strawberry cream cheese, snow angels, friday afternoons, ghosts, fireplaces, indie pop, chicken caesar salad, conceptual anything, long breakfasts, Samantha Brown, lattes, holding hands, Greek yogurt, J-Horror, tickling other people, everything bagels, always misspelling bagels "begals", hot cocoa, flowers, being lovey-dovey, last one standing (a very masculine discovery channel show), coffee houses, kittens, Hannah, waking up to a snowfall, tangerines, the today show, tripe, ghost hunters, Grant from ghost hunters, Christmas lighting, arts and crafts, homemade gifts, family, friends, you.

I have difficulty dealing with: canned soup, the Chinese government, having sandwiches for dinner, a block of cement with tiny pebbles stuck to it...

Cinema 320 {jsL}

"The sea of photographers that you are referring to does exist… but I’m constantly realizing that plenty of them arent that good… just as plenty aren’t trying that hard. The ones that are good on the other hand only prove to inspire me and make me want to become a stronger photographer. I’m doing what I know how to do and keeping my focus on my work. I’ve never compromised my artistic vision, and opportunities keep unfolding. I’m not sure where else I could live where every resource and inspiration I could ask for is right there within reach. This city never ceases to amaze me in that regard and that makes all those other fears and competitive thoughts melt away."

-A conversation with Amy Elkins, Conscientious.

So I've spent the whole day reading photo blogs and gradually feeling overwhelmed and somewhat inadequate. I realized though, as I have before that there is nothing I can "do", there is only going forward. It's hard keeping a focused perspective on your own motivations because how much of my confidence stems from external approval and how much is trust in my own vision? The more I read the less I know about this medium that I've intuitively used for years. So basically everything that can be considered my core is unraveling.

I am fascinated by Thomas Metzinger's notion that nobody ever had a self. What exist are conscious self-models that are invisible to us. The sense of self is but a process, the subjective experience of being someone but we understand it as being "us". I've only started reading Being No One: The Self-Model Theory of Subjectivity so I might be wrong. The understanding we feel we have over our "selfhood" is interesting.

Recently, I experienced a distinct disconnect between my body and me. This strangely uncomfortable sense of separation happened during a night of pain and unrest. I couldn't reconcile the fact that my body was a separate entity with motivations of its own and that I was a powerless spectator…

*As a side note, my first assignment as intern for Worcester Magazine made the cover!